| "Hot and bothered!" For most people these words | | | | the drop of a hat. |
| create images of being twisted up in sheets, | | | | You don't have to write romantic love poems. Just put |
| breathlessly reaching out to the one you love. For | | | | together a mini-album of your favorite photos and |
| those with chronic illness, however, "hot" is more likely | | | | include notes about your memories and how much he |
| to refer to one's thyroid condition, night sweats, or a | | | | means to you. |
| heating pad on high. "Bothered. . ." Well, let's just say | | | | Think of all of the thing you notice your spouse does |
| when your body aches, everything makes you feel | | | | that is never done with complaint and write them |
| bothered: a cat that won't move off your leg, a joint | | | | down with a bit thank you at the bottom. Does he take |
| that continues to throb, and a husband that is able to | | | | out the garbage, get you medicine in the middle of the |
| snore through minor earthquakes. It can be hard to be | | | | night, bathe your child without complaint, or even clean |
| romantic! | | | | out the litter box? Write these out or type tehm in fun |
| You may be surprised to know that nearly 1 in 2 | | | | fonts as something for him to treasure. |
| people live with a chronic illness in the U.S.A. That | | | | Women, get over feeling self-conscious and buy some |
| means a whole lot of marriages have a third bed | | | | underwear that doesn't look like your grandmother's. |
| partner called "illness"--including mental illness too. Sadly, | | | | Ask your teen how to use that text message feature |
| seventy-five percent of marriages that include illness | | | | on your cell phone and send him a message that will |
| end in divorce. Valentine's Day romance is a | | | | make him look twice at who sent it to him! Go for it |
| year-round requirement to keep the communication | | | | and be romantic, especially if it's the kind of thing you'd |
| and joy going in your relationship. | | | | never usually do or say. |
| So! How do you get the spark back? Here are some | | | | Give him a home-made coupon for something he |
| creative romantic gift ideas and ways to say, "I love | | | | would like but doesn't splurge on very often such as, |
| you." | | | | "Good for 5 guilt-free hours with your friends watching |
| You have to give it your best effort and avoid | | | | football." Avoid making him feel guilty whenever he |
| excuses. "I'm so tired and had such a hard day. I feel | | | | wants to do something you can participate in (like |
| terrible." I've said them all so I understand. Unfortunately | | | | going hiking or riding a roller coaster.) |
| the circumstances won't likely change, so you have to | | | | Perfect marriages will never exist, but a even a |
| change your attitude in order to have the benefit of | | | | marriage that has an illness can be a huge blessing |
| getting to the joy of romance. Let yourself relax and | | | | and not just a state of survival. Romance comes in |
| push past the pain and see if you can forget a good | | | | many ways. I remember loving my husband more than |
| chunk of it. Distraction can be a wonderful thing. | | | | ever the night I couldn't not move because of a |
| Prioritize romance. Cleaning the house all day Saturday | | | | rheumatoid arthritis flare. I "slept" sitting on the couch |
| and then claiming you're "just too tired" can make your | | | | and he spent the night on the floor beside the couch to |
| spouse feel that he isn't as important as your own | | | | comfort me every time I screamed from the pain. |
| agenda. Get some rest so you can at least have a | | | | Love comes in many forms. One of the books I've |
| decent conversation without falling asleep. | | | | bought all the couples in my life is "Love & Respect: |
| Do whatever it takes to be enthusiastic for your | | | | The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He |
| romantic evening. If you go out for a nice dinner, don't | | | | Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs. It talks a |
| tell him over the menu, "I actually feel pretty sick, so I | | | | lot about "love languages" and how men feel loved |
| don't know what to eat. I really am going out just as a | | | | when they feel respected, while women want to feel |
| favor for you." (That's won't turn your loved one on in | | | | loved with emotions and words. Oftentimes we are |
| the least!) Even if your romance is just dinner out, | | | | offering our spouse what we desire rather than the |
| enjoy talking about some dreams you still have or | | | | "love language" they need. Being aware of all of the |
| what your hopes are for the future. Avoid talking | | | | small ways we can show each other love and |
| about your illness or how it could change them all at | | | | respect add up to romance when you least expect it. |