| Fathers Day - It's a funny old life when you think about | | | | have been every day. Sonora Dodd came up with the |
| it. Is it not any wonder why a great many of us go | | | | idea after her father William Jackson Smart, was left |
| round with our head in the clouds trying to figure out | | | | to raise her and five other siblings single handed after |
| why certain things go on in our lives which make no | | | | their mother died giving birth. What instigated this |
| sense. One in particular that frustrates the brain is the | | | | proposal was the mother's day sermon she was |
| saying "You will never know how much you love | | | | listening to in chapel. Because Sonora Dodd's father |
| someone till their gone", how can we ever know until | | | | was born in June, she asked the churches in her area |
| an actual loss is suffered. Something like this is not | | | | to honour fathers in June. Her efforts paid off and the |
| what you wish for to find out. However, still a baffling | | | | first Father's Day was celebrated in Spokane, |
| quote. How you can love someone better if they are | | | | Washington, in June 1910. Father's Day did not become |
| not around is beyond me. I have spent endless hours | | | | an official U.S. holiday until 1972. |
| for a conclusion to this and I believe I have the answer. | | | | Bereavement |
| Losing some one you love - close to your heart | | | | It has been said that only the unloving and the unloved |
| causes a type of pain which is hard to describe. It is a | | | | escape from the pain of grief. In contrast to this is that |
| pain of persistence which can stay with you for many | | | | the more deeply we love the more severe also can |
| years. | | | | be the pain of loss which may include divorce or |
| When a person is alive it is so easy to take that | | | | separation from those we cherish. In some cases a |
| someone for granted even though you love them with | | | | loss can at times seem so unreal to the bereaved. |
| all your heart. Although this is the case in most | | | | This is an essential defence mechanism. The |
| relationships, we still tend to overlook important things | | | | bereaved sometimes refer to somebody who has |
| that mean a lot, like telling that person in your life how | | | | died in the present tense as though they are still alive. |
| much you love them dearly. I believe the saying "You | | | | Familiar remarks are; 'It's not really sunk in. I can't |
| will never know how much you love someone till their | | | | believe it, or any minute now they will walk through the |
| gone", has stemmed from regret. Regret is a major | | | | door. More often than not it all hits home after the |
| issue in the life of some folk where they beat | | | | burial.. In mourning we often hear of god taking the |
| themselves up over not having done this, done that, | | | | blame 'Why me'? When the sinners of the world get |
| said this or said that. If we had a crystal ball wouldn't | | | | off Scott free, I ask you god for an explanation. This |
| saying our goodbyes be so much easier as well as | | | | can be triggered off by being angry with ourselves |
| allowing us time to let our feelings be known. | | | | thinking of the missed opportunities or things we |
| The emptiness and bitterness you feel can be | | | | wished had never happened |
| remedied in prayer. I know because I still live with the | | | | These are all normal emotions that can affect anyone. |
| regret of not telling dad how much he meant to me. | | | | If you find it hard coming to terms with the death of a |
| His death came as a complete shock; he was well | | | | loved one - you are not on your own; this is a natural |
| and healthy only to drop dead at the age of 54. Why I | | | | part of the grief process for some. |
| ask myself were the words of "I love you" from dad | | | | Helpful resource centres below |
| never reciprocated by me, was I too busy dolling | | | | National Association of Widows, 54-57 Alison Street, |
| myself up to go out, was I too busy washing my hair | | | | Digbeth, Birmingham B5 5TH Tel: 0121 643 8348 |
| or was I just plain selfish and lazy to make his day by | | | | Age Concern, Bernard Sunley House 60 Pitcairn Road |
| saying I love you dad. Well you no what dad, I love you | | | | Mitcham Surrey CR4 3LL Tel: 0232 245729 |
| more than you will ever know now that you have | | | | Compassionate Friends - For bereaved parents 6 |
| gone, so there you have it - the saying holds up in truth | | | | Denmark Street, Bristol BS1 5DQ Tel: 0272 292778 |
| of every word. | | | | Cot Death Helpline Tel: 0171 235 1721 (24hrs) |
| God our Fatherin your wisdom and love you made all | | | | Cruse Bereavement Care (N. Beds) For bereaved |
| things. | | | | people Tel: 01234 340321 v |
| Bless all fathers who have taken upon themselves, the | | | | SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society) 28 |
| task of parenting. | | | | Portland Place, London W1N 4DE Tel: 0171 4365881 |
| Bless dads who have lost a wife to death ... or divorce | | | | Fabulous gift ideas for dad on Fathers Day |
| who are bringing up children alone. | | | | 1 Plant seeds for the garden |
| Give them strength and your love so they can | | | | 2 Bottle of vintage port |
| become the loving, caring persons they are meant to | | | | 3 Bottle of fine malt whiskey to warm the blood |
| be. Grant this through Christ our Lord. Amen | | | | 4 Car accessories make great gifts |
| Origin of Fathers Day | | | | 5 Fountain pen |
| Sonora Dodd is the woman we have to thank for | | | | Personalized Calendar or mug |
| giving us a day in remembrance of dads. We go back | | | | Make dad feel special this fathers day by telling him |
| as far as 1909 for the beginning, sadly the fathers | | | | how much you love him and that you will pray for him |
| before that will have missed out on this special day. | | | | to stick around for many years to come so you can |
| However if the kids back then told dad everyday that | | | | hold him and hug him along with planting big sloppy |
| they loved him, then sure enough fathers day would | | | | kisses all over his face. |